Still not sure I should but what the heck .... maybe by writing it ...I'll purge some of it and things will turn around.
My blog posts on this site used to be funny ....but what I have to share ..... isn't. I know I don't like reading depressing stuff ...so I will certainly understand if you skim over it!! Last month when I saw the new Pirates movies .... there was a voodoo doll or pin cushion (not sure what to really call it) of Captain Jack and when I saw them torture Captain Jack Sparrow ...I told all my friends and family that someone has of doll or me and they're torturing it. I don't really believe that ...I just said it for laughs ... that made you laugh .....didn't it?
It's been a month since I last posted and here's why.
- We had to put our dear Sissy to sleep. She was the youngest of our Bichons and my heart is totally broken! I've cried so many hours it would scare you! I miss her little happy personality so much!! I swear no one will ever love me the way she did. Fluffy likes me but Sissy loved me .... to the point it was overwhelming. In the mornings she ALWAYS barked like crazy as I was coming downstairs and as she was jumping it looked like she was on a trampoline ...her darling face peaking over the kennel was just too cute! I have lots of little things she did to share ...but just typing this has started the water works so I've save it for later.
- Chase was doing well ...but then his foot got infected. We went to the lakehouse and while we were there it got worse. The ER in Caseville, MO was very nice! All is well now and he's currently trying to put weight on his ankle. It's healing nicely ...if he could just walk on it!!
- I'm listing this third but it actually happened before the other two ...but I'm listing it in the middle because I'm embarrassed I did such a thing!! After Chase's surgery I got depressed. What can I say? I go in that direction from time to time. So, I was like a drug addict looking for a fix. I needed something .... but finding the right thing .... I did not. Here's the story ...all mixed up. Brooke has terrible eye sight!!! And she hates her glasses (who doesn't) and she wants to have vision correction surgery when she's old enough. Dave worked with a bunch of people that had one of our local doctors perform the surgery and they all were very pleased. So ....I was thinking ...I'd like to see about it so I can make an educated decision when it comes time for Brooke. I called the place and it was vision month....and I could get the consultant done for free. How could I resist? So, I went and was told I'm the perfect candidate for the surgery and ...... they have a few spots left in the month of May. And ... I could save some money (a lot) by having it done in the month of May (there was only a week left). So, I begged Dave and he broke down and agreed ...I charged it on my credit card ...thinking being able to see better will be good for my business for many years to come. The rest of the story is I can't see worth a hoot ... it will be four weeks on Friday and it's AWFUL!! Just typing this I have to keep turning my head and trying to focus ...it's not working. I've gone in twice ...they say everything looks good. The night of the surgery it was great .... Brooke drove me to CVS and I could read all the signs without glasses. But when I woke up the next morning ...it's been hazy ever since. By this time of day ...my head hurts something awful. All day trying to focus!! I still have hope that it will clear up!! But it's really starting to scare me! I've prayed to God many times and even begged...in the beginning I was like how can I pray for myself when Chase needed all my prayers. I even told my family ....we pray for Chase. But once we saw Dr. Horton I called all of them and said okay it's time to pray for me. But.... four days after my surgery is when we found out Sissy was sick. I was STRESSED to the max ..... because of Chase's infection and Sissy. It's possible I've delayed the recovery period. I'm not sure ...I go back in a couple weeks. I still have faith that everything can clear up and I'd like to say I've learned my lesson ....but I'm not sure. I find myself constantly praying to see clearly and just the other day I told God I accept his will.....whatever it may be. I don't understand why .... but I accept it.
- The last item is Brooke ...I know ..I can't even believe I'm saying this. Again .... I told my whole family ... we had made a decision about Sissy and maybe afterwards I would stop stressing out ....but then I took Brooke to the doctor because she's been really tired and she has to eat every two hours or she gets the shakes and feels like she's going to pass out. They called Friday and her blood showed high liver levels. We had more blood work done and now we're scheduling an ultrasound. Again I feel confident that everything will work out ...but SERIOUSLY am I dreaming all this? I don't even know what to do or what to say .... but at the same time we have a house over our heads and my hubby has a good job. We have a lot to be thankful for!! I just wish everything would calm down ...and I could see clearly!!!
I hope this post hasn't scared you off ...but if it has I totally understand ...maybe next year we'll all be laughing at all this .... (I pray!!!!)
Hope all is well with all of you!!
See ya later!