Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Where did I go?

What you're about to read will sound like something made up ....but trust me ...it's all the truth.  I've started to post many times but just couldn't put it out there.
Still not sure I should but what the heck .... maybe by writing it ...I'll purge some of it and things will turn around.
My blog posts on this site used to be funny ....but what I have to share ..... isn't.  I know I don't like reading depressing stuff ...so I will certainly understand if you skim over it!!  Last month when I saw the new Pirates movies .... there was a voodoo doll or pin cushion (not sure what to really call it) of Captain Jack and when I saw them torture Captain Jack Sparrow ...I told all my friends and family that someone has of doll or me and they're torturing it.  I don't really believe that ...I just said it for laughs ... that made you laugh .....didn't it?

It's been a month since I last posted and here's why.
  1. We had to put our dear Sissy to sleep.  She was the youngest of our Bichons and my heart is totally broken!  I've cried so many hours it would scare you!  I miss her little happy personality so much!! I swear no one will ever love me the way she did.   Fluffy likes me but Sissy loved me .... to the point it was overwhelming.  In the mornings she ALWAYS barked like crazy as I was coming downstairs and as she was jumping it looked like she was on a trampoline ...her darling face peaking over the kennel was just too cute!   I have lots of little things she did to share ...but just typing this has started the water works so I've save it for later.
  2. Chase was doing well ...but then his foot got infected.  We went to the lakehouse and while we were there it got worse.  The ER in Caseville, MO was very nice!  All is well now and he's currently trying to put weight on his ankle.  It's healing nicely ...if he could just walk on it!!
  3. I'm listing this third but it actually happened before the other two ...but I'm listing it in the middle because I'm embarrassed I did such a thing!!  After Chase's surgery I got depressed.  What can I say?  I go in that direction from time to time.  So, I was like a drug addict looking for a fix.  I needed something .... but finding the right thing .... I did not.  Here's the story ...all mixed up.  Brooke has terrible eye sight!!! And she hates her glasses (who doesn't) and she wants to have vision correction surgery when she's old enough.   Dave worked with a bunch of people that had one of our local doctors perform the surgery and they all were very pleased.   So ....I was thinking ...I'd like to see about it so I can make an educated decision when it comes time for Brooke.  I called the place and it was vision month....and I could get the consultant done for free.  How could I resist?  So, I went and was told I'm the perfect candidate for the surgery and ...... they have a few spots left in the month of May.  And ... I could save some money (a lot) by having it done in the month of May (there was only a week left).  So, I begged Dave and he broke down and agreed ...I charged it on my credit card ...thinking being able to see better will be good for my business for many years to come.  The rest of the story is I can't see worth a hoot ... it will be four weeks on Friday and it's AWFUL!!  Just typing this I have to keep turning my head and trying to focus ...it's not working.    I've gone in twice ...they say everything looks good.  The night of the surgery it was great .... Brooke drove me to CVS and I could read all the signs without glasses.  But when I woke up the next morning ...it's been hazy ever since.  By this time of day ...my head hurts something awful.  All day trying to focus!!  I still have hope that it will clear up!!  But it's really starting to scare me! I've prayed to God many times and even begged...in the beginning I was like how can I pray for myself when Chase needed all my prayers.  I even told my family ....we pray for Chase.  But once we saw Dr. Horton I called all of them and said okay it's time to pray for me.  But.... four days after my surgery is when we found out Sissy was sick.   I was STRESSED to the max ..... because of Chase's infection and Sissy.   It's possible I've delayed the recovery period.  I'm not sure ...I go back in a couple weeks.  I still have faith that everything can clear up and I'd like to say I've learned my lesson ....but I'm not sure. I find myself constantly praying to see clearly and just the other day I told God I accept his will.....whatever it may be. I don't understand why .... but I accept it.
  4. The last item is Brooke ...I know ..I can't even believe I'm saying this.  Again .... I told my whole family ... we had made a decision about Sissy and maybe afterwards I would stop stressing out ....but then I took Brooke to the doctor because she's been really tired and she has to eat every two hours or she gets the shakes and feels like she's going to pass out.   They called Friday and her blood showed high liver levels.  We had more blood work done and now we're scheduling an ultrasound.   Again I feel confident that everything will work out ...but SERIOUSLY am I dreaming all this?  I don't even know what to do or what to say ....  but at the same time we have a house over our heads and my hubby has a good job.  We have a lot to be thankful for!!  I just wish everything would calm down ...and I could see clearly!!!
So, with all that ...you can see why I haven't posted..... and the roller coaster continues.   On Saturday we have Chase's graduation party.  I'm excited I get to see my daddy but bummed because neither of my sisters can make it. I could sure use them right now!!  After that we're headed to the lakehouse for the 4th so we can have a get together with Dave's family ..since Chase and Kyle both graduated we thought one gathering for two would be best.    Then Brooke heads to Kansas City Art Institute for three weeks ....yes three weeks.  I'll only get to see her one time....she leaves on July 10th and I leave on the 12th for Convention.   And let's not forget Chase needs to start walking on that ankle .....trying to force him isn't working out for me!  I'm thinking of hiding his crutches.

I hope this post hasn't scared you off ...but if it has I totally understand ...maybe next year we'll all be laughing at all this .... (I pray!!!!)

Hope all is well with all of you!!

See ya later!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Angie,

I'm praying for you.

Marty

Lesa Marian said...

Hi Angie,
Sorry about all the mishaps. There is an eye dr. in missouri(pepose) that does eye surgery and he well known for his work. My sister in-law and father in-law both had glasses but did'nt need them after the lasik surgery. No complications either. Pepose is located in Chesterfield Missouri(St.Louis)May be worth the trip to save your vision. Hope things get better for you soon.

Ruth B said...

Angie, I can't believe you have stayed as strong as you have through all this. Hide the crutches and substitute a cane to get that boy walking again. Hopefully meeting your friends and all the excitement of Convention will provide some stress relief. May the Lord give you strength to get through it all.

MaryAnn Grove said...

hey, you are doing what has to be done. About Sissy, the only time my children saw me cry, was due to the loss of a beloved animal. Chase will do it when he is ready. probably when a pretty gal invites him over. as for your eyesight, some of it could be due to stress, so keep after those Dr's. they are reprehensible if they don't make it right. Hugs to you and yours. MaryAnn

Pamela said...

Angie-I'm just going through and catching up on posts. A word about your lasik-I had it done around 6 yrs ago, I made my decision when I could no longer see (good enough) wearing contacts to work on a computer everyday. My doctor told me that I would need to wear reading glasses,which I thought that's no big deal - had he told me I'd be wearing them for everything I wanted to see up close. I couldn't read the keypad on the alarm pad, the odometer in the car - it was awful and very scary, but this cleared up over time, it's a age thing that you can't see for both distance and up close. So now I wear one contact for my up close work and that has worked out. I was using reading glasses for everything, then taking them off to walk across the room, so frustating. After seeing what I went through my husband changed his mind. Knowing what I know, would I do it again, yes because of the issue with contacts just no longer was working. Be patient, it's surgery and it takes time as your eyes will heal. So sorry to hear about your pet, I still miss everyone of my pets we have lost. They are our "children", and in some ways they need you more than children, children grow up and can take care of themselves, our pets need us everyday for their care and love. I'm so heartbroken for you, I know how you feel. You know the saying that God doesn't give you more than you can handle - sometimes you just have to know that's right, but you still have to question. I wish you the best, your'e a sweet person and time does heal all...

Anonymous said...

Angie,
I don't even know you, we are miles and miles apart, but I am praying for you! I also wanted to thank you for your website. It's that absolute best!Take a deep breathe, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. God Bless!

angie said...

oh angie...i am sooo sorry to hear there is even more negative stuff going on in your life...like you didn't already have enough to deal with! nothing we can say will speed things along, and we know you have family and friends, and God to support you in this challenging time...but my first instinct, seriously...how much would a plane ticket be to go give angie a hug? lol! Best wishes and hopes...time will make it better. you are such a strong person, and you have been though so much. hang in there.

Mari said...

Angie: We don't know each other, but I feel like I've known you a long time through your website and for that I am truly thankful. I have watched most, if not all, of your online video tutorials and bloopers that it seems like we're old friends. I am saddened that you are going through a rough patch right now, but as one of your friends said above, God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Based on your blogs, my impression is that you are a strong woman of God and you have your faith to fall on when times get tough. I myself and going through some difficult times but God has been there to catch me and get me back to where he wants me to be. My husband and I lost our golden retriver, Olive, on April 23rd of this year and it's been extremely difficult, but we are getting through this one day at a time and with God's help. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep your focus on God and remember all of the prayers he has answered in the past, present and future. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

April said...

It`s funny that you mention voodoo dolls... I make silly jokes about them sometimes. Seriously there are days when I ask the girls at work "okay, who has the voodoo doll in my image ?? You need to put it away because I have had more than I can handle!"
I`m very sorry that you had to say goodbye to Sissy. I had to take my cat to the vet almost 4 weeks ago because she had 2 episodes in 3days where she lost control of her hind legs... turns out that she has a thyroid problem that can be controlled with medication. It scared me to death and I was sure going in to the vet`s office that I was going to loose her.
As for your family, I sincerely hope that everything settles down for you soon, Angie.
Take care and enjoy convention!!