The Roller Coaster continues

After my last post I decided to re-read the book Simple Abundance .... this is probably my 4th or 5th time and I choose it out of all my books because it promotes finding the little things to bring you joy. 

I had an idea that I would post "What I'm grateful for" each night...before I go to bed.... but lately I'm so tired I don't have the energy to do it. 


Chase's graduation party was very nice and I'm so glad that daddy and Patsy were able to be here.  They were a huge help to me.  They even swept and mopped my floors (not sure anyone has ever done that for me... ..unless I paid them).

So, are you ready to hear the latest?  I had an ultrasound on my Thyroid on Wed and on Thursday they called and said I have a mass on my thyroid and they want to do a biopsy.  YES, I'm freaking out ... but trying to remain calm.  I'm going to be out of town for the first two weeks of July and now this hanging over my head.  The lump I felt in my throat a week ago now seems much larger ...I know it's all in my head but I swear it feels like it's choking me.

One bright note is my sister Kim is going to Convention with me.  I'm very excited!!   If you're a Stampin' Up1 demonstrator and reading this ..and going to Convention ... you will see a different side of me with Kim.  She's my sister ....she loves me and I can be myself with her.  We laugh, cry and fight with every fiber of our being.....and by the end of the week we'll be ready to pull each others hair out.  But after the fact ...it's what makes us laugh the hardest.   Once she got so mad at me she left the store and paid for a rental car to go home (and I searched for her forever ...until she finally decided to call me and tell me what she'd done)....I still can't believe she did that!!!   I think we've both matured since that episode :)  And she's learned to go light on the perfume .... some perfumes give me an instant headache and if the headache isn't treated I become very grumpy!!! 

As for my eyes ....I have more faith now than ever.   But my sight is still blurry.  I went back to the doctor this week and they made some changes ...did a little procedure to help out the dryness and they assured me everything looks good ...I just need to get over the hump.   Hopefully in six to 8 weeks I'll be as good as new..... Kim will be my eyes at Convention  ....picture taking, note taking etc.

Gotta run....

p.s. thanks for all the comments and emails!!  If you leave a comment on here ...sometimes I can't reply back to you.  I'm not sure why ....but in the return address it says no reply.  If you'd like me to reply back .... you're welcome to send me an email.

Where did I go?

What you're about to read will sound like something made up ....but trust me ...it's all the truth.  I've started to post many times but just couldn't put it out there.
Still not sure I should but what the heck .... maybe by writing it ...I'll purge some of it and things will turn around.
My blog posts on this site used to be funny ....but what I have to share ..... isn't.  I know I don't like reading depressing stuff ...so I will certainly understand if you skim over it!!  Last month when I saw the new Pirates movies .... there was a voodoo doll or pin cushion (not sure what to really call it) of Captain Jack and when I saw them torture Captain Jack Sparrow ...I told all my friends and family that someone has of doll or me and they're torturing it.  I don't really believe that ...I just said it for laughs ... that made you laugh .....didn't it?

It's been a month since I last posted and here's why.

1. We had to put our dear Sissy to sleep.  She was the youngest of our Bichons and my heart is totally broken!  I've cried so many hours it would scare you!  I miss her little happy personality so much!! I swear no one will ever love me the way she did.   Fluffy likes me but Sissy loved me .... to the point it was overwhelming.  In the mornings she ALWAYS barked like crazy as I was coming downstairs and as she was jumping it looked like she was on a trampoline ...her darling face peaking over the kennel was just too cute!   I have lots of little things she did to share ...but just typing this has started the water works so I've save it for later.
2. Chase was doing well ...but then his foot got infected.  We went to the lakehouse and while we were there it got worse.  The ER in Caseville, MO was very nice!  All is well now and he's currently trying to put weight on his ankle.  It's healing nicely ...if he could just walk on it!!
3. I'm listing this third but it actually happened before the other two ...but I'm listing it in the middle because I'm embarrassed I did such a thing!!  After Chase's surgery I got depressed.  What can I say?  I go in that direction from time to time.  So, I was like a drug addict looking for a fix.  I needed something .... but finding the right thing .... I did not.  Here's the story ...all mixed up.  Brooke has terrible eye sight!!! And she hates her glasses (who doesn't) and she wants to have vision correction surgery when she's old enough.   Dave worked with a bunch of people that had one of our local doctors perform the surgery and they all were very pleased.   So ....I was thinking ...I'd like to see about it so I can make an educated decision when it comes time for Brooke.  I called the place and it was vision month....and I could get the consultant done for free.  How could I resist?  So, I went and was told I'm the perfect candidate for the surgery and ...... they have a few spots left in the month of May.  And ... I could save some money (a lot) by having it done in the month of May (there was only a week left).  So, I begged Dave and he broke down and agreed ...I charged it on my credit card ...thinking being able to see better will be good for my business for many years to come.  The rest of the story is I can't see worth a hoot ... it will be four weeks on Friday and it's AWFUL!!  Just typing this I have to keep turning my head and trying to focus ...it's not working.    I've gone in twice ...they say everything looks good.  The night of the surgery it was great .... Brooke drove me to CVS and I could read all the signs without glasses.  But when I woke up the next morning ...it's been hazy ever since.  By this time of day ...my head hurts something awful.  All day trying to focus!!  I still have hope that it will clear up!!  But it's really starting to scare me! I've prayed to God many times and even begged...in the beginning I was like how can I pray for myself when Chase needed all my prayers.  I even told my family ....we pray for Chase.  But once we saw Dr. Horton I called all of them and said okay it's time to pray for me.  But.... four days after my surgery is when we found out Sissy was sick.   I was STRESSED to the max ..... because of Chase's infection and Sissy.   It's possible I've delayed the recovery period.  I'm not sure ...I go back in a couple weeks.  I still have faith that everything can clear up and I'd like to say I've learned my lesson ....but I'm not sure. I find myself constantly praying to see clearly and just the other day I told God I accept his will.....whatever it may be. I don't understand why .... but I accept it.
4. The last item is Brooke ...I know ..I can't even believe I'm saying this.  Again .... I told my whole family ... we had made a decision about Sissy and maybe afterwards I would stop stressing out ....but then I took Brooke to the doctor because she's been really tired and she has to eat every two hours or she gets the shakes and feels like she's going to pass out.   They called Friday and her blood showed high liver levels.  We had more blood work done and now we're scheduling an ultrasound.   Again I feel confident that everything will work out ...but SERIOUSLY am I dreaming all this?  I don't even know what to do or what to say ....  but at the same time we have a house over our heads and my hubby has a good job.  We have a lot to be thankful for!!  I just wish everything would calm down ...and I could see clearly!!!

So, with all that ...you can see why I haven't posted..... and the roller coaster continues.   On Saturday we have Chase's graduation party.  I'm excited I get to see my daddy but bummed because neither of my sisters can make it. I could sure use them right now!!  After that we're headed to the lakehouse for the 4th so we can have a get together with Dave's family ..since Chase and Kyle both graduated we thought one gathering for two would be best.    Then Brooke heads to Kansas City Art Institute for three weeks ....yes three weeks.  I'll only get to see her one time....she leaves on July 10th and I leave on the 12th for Convention.   And let's not forget Chase needs to start walking on that ankle .....trying to force him isn't working out for me!  I'm thinking of hiding his crutches.

I hope this post hasn't scared you off ...but if it has I totally understand ...maybe next year we'll all be laughing at all this .... (I pray!!!!)

Hope all is well with all of you!!

See ya later!